Sunday, September 21, 20089/21/2008 01:08:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
You were right about one thing .
Time does heal wounds.
And people can say things without meaning it.
I'll keep that in mind.
I'll remember not to trust anyone.
Because you broke that biggest bond.
You broke my biggest promise to myself also.
But i might not =x LOL get a wife straight dont need gf x]
HAHAHAAH =x
no la not possible x]
I've things on my mind.
Time passes by.
I'm still thinking about the past.
I still remember her soo well.
All her likes and dislikes.
All the things i forced myself to do because of her.
All those things.
Anyways.
As this blog comes to the end of its life.
I just wanna write down all my memories.
Between this 108 days.
Its been horrible and good.
I've taken a step forward.
And yet also a big one back.
To know and not to know.
To care and not to care.
To learn how to move on and leave behind things you dont want to.
I'm moving onwards.
And i think everyone stuck should too.
Sometimes because of promises and depression just keeps a person there.
No matter how hard you try you cant do much.
Not because you dont want to your mind and heart just cant get along.
Just set a goal for yourself.
And move on.Thats the easiest way.Or just simply distract yourself.
Its easy to fall for anyone you see.
Been reading hilda's book.
Love love love.
Whats love?
Whats purity.
Whats god whats true love?
Its hard to listen and believe and truely love someone.
Espicially to non god believers.
Because they're asking you to love someone you cant see.
But thats physical love aint it?
hiaz its confusing but its very straight forward really.
To love someone who you believe in.
Its training aint it?
Its not physical love nor intimacy.
Haha. But what good does it really do really.
Looking back i looked for a job.
I messed up my house.
I messed myself up.
I realised that i was broke and needed to refresh myself.
i had to move i had no choice.
I cant rely on anyone.
And i kept telling myself time waits for no one.
Working at NY is one of the best places except for a few people.
The people there taught me alot
yet very little.
But some of the friends made there will be kept in mind.
Listening to a few love songs.
And sometimes they really make you wonder.
Whats love?
Everyone is talking about physical love.
Chances you've to take.
Risk you've to take.
Sacrifices you've to make.
But this crushed feeling just wont go away.
Why do i keep running from the truth
Becuase all i think about is you.
You got me hypnotised
So mesmerised.
and you just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone.
All that we could be.
LOL, Random lyrics.
All that we could be?
Somehow when i read that book i feel that we should be very restrained in our relationships.
But as long you know your limits.
Thats all you've got to do.
Sometimes when i see someone i can just tell what they're like.
But anyways. Just looking back.
I want to let everyone know that i apperciate what they've done for me
Be it good or "bad"
to keep a balance in the world we need both good and bad.
Life and death,
Happy and sad,
Hungry and full,
Ugly and pretty,
Assholes and Nice people.
But sometimes its better if there wernt negative points.
But we're flawed aint we?
Once again being being who we are
You can always live in your own believes.
Your own world and hide and pretend that everything is fine and perfect.
When you experience bad people maybe you'll understand.
To endure and persist.To try your hardest even being pressed against the wall.
Fighting back for what you think is right and protecting whats important to you.
Watching my sister grow up.
Watching everyone change.
Somehow its very unsatisfying.
Because no matter what you just want somethings to remain the same.
But deep inside you know time wont wait
Reality is like that but you cant do anything about it.
And thats what that sucks
To love and to miss.
To want and not to have.
Desires and necessities.
Friends and enemies.
None the less this 108 days have been very important to me about moving on.
And i've completing the hurdles.
Just another 4 more days to go.
I'll pull through!.
I'll i made a promise..
And i wont break it.
I'll fight for what that is "right"
And i'll protect whats dear and whats important to me.
You were what i wanted.
You were everything to me.
I'm not angry.
I never am or was.
I'm just sad throughout.
I've nothing to be happy about.
B4 we were together i guessed i was the same.
But now i've lost so many things
And i'm at a complete lost.
I'll need new goals.
I'll need new friends.
I'll need more.
Please when i get into army
May i be with nice and good people.
Till than my fate is all in my hands and in those above.
till than this shall be my last post on this blog.
THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY DEDICATED TO THE 108 DAYS AND THE 108 DAYS BEFORE.
thank you for the memories
thank you for everything.
Be it good or bad.
We must accept life and move on.
THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO ZHIWEI AND MY MEMORIES.
thank you.(and its posted in her favourite colour) ^^
