Saturday, June 28, 20086/28/2008 11:55:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Feelings.
How to get over someone?
I no longer feel the pain.
I no longer feel the love.
What am i after?
Love/Lust?
Zzz
Its love I'm after.
Today i went out with a friend.
She's not really "Innocent"
Or PURE.
But I tried something.
I "held" her hand.
And asked for a hug.
The feel was not the same as her.
Guess its not lust right?
Lust is physical.
Love is emotional.
No one/Nothing can replace anyone.
No one is the same.
No one can ever pretend to be someone.
There will be differences.
Whats gone is gone.
No point crying over spilt milk.
*But you can always buy another one*
lols thats not what i meant.
One must learn how to forget and move on.
Love is something 2 people must commit to.
Or it wont work out.
Even if you love that person alot.
Without feelings.
The relationship wont be a good one.
Might be one of regrets.
Take your time to find MR/MS right?
How much time do you have to spare?
Let fate carry you?
The wind might never blow again.
Oh wells.
You dont really need Relationship love right?
You've friends love.
There are many kinds of love in this world.
Your friends LOVE you too.(?)
If you died?
How much would it affect others?
And those around you?
Is you existance needed?
Char: No la, You're far too loved that i dont dare to think how i would be without you.
LOLS Crap sia.
Char you winner liao.
Make me speechless.
Make me feel "loved"
hahas.
TY to those who helped me get through my difficult time.
Esp : Maureen.Who spent time with me
Alison.Who gave me positive in sights.
Charmaine.All round.
Encouraging Jia Yun.
Patient Jasmine.
Funny Nukun.
Sexy Sylvie.
Boring Leona.
Brother Larry.
Busy Nicole.
Jacelyn mei.
Gamer Leslie?
o.o
Act cute Ming Hui
Actually I got alot of inspirations from her
Cas she was in the same situation as me.
And i just put myself in "her" shoes.
Last but not least.
Know it all Jeremy.
6/28/2008 12:15:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
28th June 08
Today not working.
Tomorrow also not working.
Monday also not working?!?!
ZZZZZ
What now -.-
I dont know what to do sia.
Hiaz.
Todays Scorpios Horoscope.
You are squaring off against someone who really does not know what he is up against. You may need to show him what is up your sleeve before you are ready but it should still go well for you.
6/28/2008 11:48:00 AM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Saturday , June 28 , 2008
Speechless
Went to lan yesterday night.
Wanted to post at lan but no time.
Stayed there for like about 7 hours.
Yesterday was boring..
Went to lan in the morning.
Win/Lose
No big deal.
Went off at about 2-3
Went to work super early?
Stupidity.
I start at 6 but i went at like 5?
Hiaz.
Because of what i read.
What she said.
Charmaine told me
Just move on.
.......
Move on ba...
u promise not to bother me anymore? i kan take all dis u noe. u try being in my shoes now? evrydae come baq from sch being godamn tired wif test deadlines hw vball trng? d onli consolation i get out of my life rite now is my frens n classmates hu make my life seem worthwhile.. de crappy smses dat u sent me didnt hurt as much as i tot it would. i guess im veri much over u now. im touched dat sum1 loved me but i hope u'll find ur true happiness. im not de one 4 u n will nv be. plz be happi. i dun wan to cuz unhappiness 2 de ppl arnd me. dun bother to reply i wanna hav d last word. i'll nv find u agn or sms u anymore. we're out of each other's lives from now on. bye. tc.
Put myself in your shoes?
put yourself in mine?
What do you know about me?
I've always been giving and giving..
I'm the one putting in all the effort.
Everyday going down to find you.
Guess you dint love me.
Thanks alot you know.
For talking about promises.
What about your promises?
Ya thanks for everything?
Friends're there for you.
Ya good for you.
What about me?
Its all about you.
You always have the last words.
I'm not the one for you but what about me?
Fine what so ever.
Think about yourself.
Guess the people like you are the same.
Like Jeremy said.
Fine
Your words.
You took a day to like get over me?
Ya thanks alot.
That goes to show alot.
Second chances?
You're glad you dint give any?
Fine whatever.
My happiness.
Everything?
Fucked up.
Friday, June 27, 20086/27/2008 10:08:00 AM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Friday , June 27 , 2008
27Th June
Woke up early today.
Don't know why.
Haha.
I'm feeling numb again.
Before i met her that kind of feeling.
Guess I'm really being who i was before -.-
That heartless person.
Guess I've learnt my lesson.
The painful way.
Love strikes back harder than what you think.
If you really love that person.
It might take months.
Years?
But its over.
If shes happier like this so be it.
Her happiness is my priority
I'm afraid to hurt people.
I'm not going to love anyone again.
Unless its really supposed to be.
Or fate brings along that PERFECT.
Love.
I'm who i am.
I'm a failure.
A failure who's trying to change his destiny.
He wants to win.
He wants to succeed.
With advice and help.
I'll make it through...
ALONE.
Guess i wont message you today anymore.
Todays Scoripos Horoscope
Now is the best time for you to start in a new direction although there may be quite a few other folks doing the same thing. Do not let that worry you, though, because you have an edge they cannot dream of.
Guess it really means i'm moving on.
DARN I HATE HOROSCOPES.
Thursday, June 26, 20086/26/2008 11:44:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
End of this. 4th month.
Before this day ends.
I want to say.
Today was supposed to be our official 4th month.
Today shall be the day i let go.
Today shall be the day it ends.
I just want to post before the day ends..
As the 26th.
26th feb we started.
26th june i'm giving you up.
I dont want to hurt you.
I dont want you to be hurt.
Say what you want about me.
I hope you understand.
I hope you see things from my point of view.
I never wanted to hurt you or make you cry.
Its just sometimes its so confusing and hard.
I cant help myself.
Feels so wasted.
I still remember your birthday..
But its all over.
This is it.
We started, we ended.
True time heals our wounds.
But time wont remove these memories.
Take care.
I'll be super glad to hear from you sometime.
I love being surprised.
If you love someone the best thing to do at times.
Is to let the person go
6/26/2008 07:59:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Whatever.
Today..
Was stupid...
I went to work.
And i messaged her.
Felt so down i took a break.
Apparently.
Jeremy decided to take things into his own hands.
AGAIN.
..........
For our good.
For her good.
If i love her her happiness is my 1st piority.
I love her so i wont hurt her.
I love her so this is the for the best.
I think its better that i let go.
For her happiness.
For everything..
That's the biggest thing I've to sacrifice than.
That's the thing for your happiness.
I've to give up..
That's it..
This it the end.
I'm not going to pursue anymore.
This is really the End.
I'm moving on.
Take care.
FIX THE GOD DAMMED COMPUTER
ARGHS SO BORED AT HOME
6/26/2008 10:48:00 AM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Sadness
erms. Happy 4th month anniversary!
But its actually not.
We never made it there.
Its just hurts.
Hurts so bad.
I msged her at 1+A.M just now
She replied.
OMG
DID I WAKE HER UP?
I'm so sorry.
Hiaz. I wonder how are you.
How are you coping.
Probably better than when you were with me.
Somehow somethings trouble me.
Maureen said you like some other guy.
Maybe its just a distraction.
You said if that was the case you could not get another bf for 5-6 years?
I dont know.
You happiness is important.
I agree you dont have to love me back.
I'll still love you.
What ever you do
I'll support you.
I just hope you make the right decisions.
Dedicating this song to you.
About You Now - Sugarbabes.
Actually I was sure about how i feel about you.
All the time.
But this song.
Just carries to many meanings.
Probably just a way of me apologising.
With this song.
Hiaz. I'm sorry.
Todays Scorpio's Horoscope
You feel inspired to do something positive for your health and might cajole a friend into joining you. Maybe you want to quit smoking , go cycling or eat more greens. All things are possible.
All things are possible?
haha I really hope so
6/26/2008 01:04:00 AM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
June 26Th.
Do you know what day is this?
Do you know what does this day represent?
26Th..
The 26Th of every month...
I remember..
I can lie to other people.
But i cant lie to myself.
Its to painful.
Its to harsh.
Reality is too painful for me to accept.
No matter how hard i push.
No matter how hard i try.
Even if i try my best.
I'm trying.
Trying harder.
But the harder i try.
Is like adding oil to the fire.
It takes more than determination.
It takes more than hard work.
It needs more.
It actually needs you..
The one that changed me.
Into a better person.
A person with a goal
A person with something in his mind he wants to do.
Limitless gratitude.
But its not enough.
Nothing is ever enough..
I'm a failure.
Things usually don't go my way.
I'll adapt.
But this is too much already.
Too much burden.
I lie to myself.
I'm not a liar.
I'm just helping myself to past time and reality.
Deceiving myself that theres much more to life.
But what is it?
Whats that more?
I'm not materialistic.
Money can never buy what i really need.
Even with the things i want.
I'll only be happy momentarily.
Working later at 12.. I'll just cry myself to sleep.
6/26/2008 12:26:00 AM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Thursday , June 26 , 2008
Growing up
Growing up is a process everyone faces.
Its a difficult choice sometimes when you're in the middle of temptation
And reality of hardship.
Sometimes you must really know and decide what you really want.
What you really want to do.
And whats for your own good?
Whats for you own good to begin with?
Friends you make, Some mold you into good people.
Some destroy you.
Friends are very important as you grow up.
Some people are loners.
They'll look after themselves.
Have very good planning.
Or just that don't care attitude.
Some friends,Good friends,Stay with you for life.
Some make use of you, Use you and than dump you.
What kind of life do you want?
What are you a tool or a human?
Peer pressure.
Do what you want.
What ever you're doing now.
DO IT FOR YOURSELF.
DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Today i broke up ties with a friend.
So called brother.
know him for 6 years already.
I've always been giving in.
I've always been there for him.
Today i dont think i want to continue giving anymore.
I'm not a tool.
I'm not someone you use.
N.E ways.
I think i know how it feels.
How she feels.
About me.
About giving it up.
About letting everything go.
That emptiness in your heart.
You dont know what to decide what you want
What do you really want to do.
But you think its better that way.
But who am i to say these stuff?
I'm not her.
I dont know how she feels or anything.
Why dont i know?
Because I dont want to know?
Because i dont care?
Because nobody told me?
Because she dint know what she wanted as well?
Now i'm at a lost.
It feels so empty.
So empty.
I'm finally taking what i say seriously.
I'm working towards my goal.
I'm doing what i feel like doing.
I'm not going to hold back.
I'm not going to regret my decisions.
I'm not going to live in or with regrets.
Hiaz.
But sometimes life is just to.
Down.
Desires and temptation.
These are the things in life that really would change you.
Most importantly.
Make the right friends.
Quality over Quantity
Why are you?
Why are you living on this earth?
Who are your true friends?
Do you understand yourself?
If you dont understand yourself
you're no better than a loitering soul
Wondering around on this face of this planet.
Called earth...
Wednesday, June 25, 20086/25/2008 08:30:00 AM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Wednesday , June 25 , 2008
Dreams, Lust?
Dreamt about her last night again. Imagine her sitting with me.
And i was hugging her so dear
Afraid to let her go.
Not allowing her to go.
Apologising for the past.
Apologising for everything.
But i knew it was a dream.
I knew that it was just a dream.
I dint want to wake up.
I wanted it to last.
I dint want to open my eyes.
Than my stupid friend called me.
And it was all over.
Zhi wei.
Its not over.
You dont have to love yourself for me to love you.
I read your email, PROPERLY, Yesterday.
Because I'm so sad.
I dont want you to go.
I still want you.
I know its sounds stupid after everything.
But i really love you.
An email she sent.
Friday, June 20, 2008 10:25:45 AM
Seems lyk we hav clashes quite frequently aft we broke up. dun u tink we shld allow ourselves at least a wk b4 we speak to each other again? D 1 wk aft we broke up seems so long, lyk a mth.. even aft a wk, it still feels as unresolved n as painful as when we 1st broke up. D qn u've always wanted to noe is wad did i sae was untrue rite? when we were tgt, when i said i love u, it didnt seem lyk a lie to me, bcuz i tot i love u. but.. it doesnt matter if i love u anymore bcuz we will nv be tgt. i finally understand y i couldnt accept u. its bcuz i dun love myself, so how can i believe dat dere's someone out dere hu lyks me? until i learn to love myself, i'll nv be in a relationship. i noe u once loved me. i can feel it n i appreciated it. although i dunno y u lyk/love me anw.. but dere's one thing i noe, in a relationship, both parties muz love each other unconditionally, n muz be prepared to sacrifice much 4 each other. sad to sae i kan do dat. i trusted u most of de time, but i dun trust myself. i dunno y i'm crying as i'm writing all dis. ytd u rly caught me at de wrong time n i'm sry 4 hurting u. bcuz u started talkgin bout raymond n it feels lyk u're accusing me of liking him or sth, which i dun. wadeva de case, i dun deserve ur love. keep it til u meet ur soulmate. one dat is willing to sacrifice 4 u n wun hurt u. dats all i've got to sae. hope u understand. take care of urself we'll speak in a wk. unless u dun wan to speak to me at all its fine wif me too. eat more u nid nutrients n stuff its not gd eating onli a meal a day. bye.
-ur ex
I replied.
Friday, June 20, 2008 10:32:51 AM
I'm fine with anything. I dont love myself either. Dats why i dont buy anything for myself.
I dont know what to say I'm confused. I dont know what now. I dontknow anything
Yes i loved you I dont love myself too.
What are lies what are not i dont really know also.
But i only know that i am hurt by you.
I never flirted i was never insincere
If you need that week that week of time shall be yours.
I dint want to meet you yesterday because i'm afraid i'll hurt you.
Even being not together i still care so much .
And yet i still get screwed by you.
I dont know why.But i guess thats me.
I forgive and forgive.
But i never forget.
Eating is something that i dont really do waste money eating..
I ate because i have to take care of myself.
To take care of someone.To have energy to carry on.
Just Be who you are.
We might find our places in this world someday.
Someone who loves you . Loved you. And probably still is unsure whether he still does.
I dint read it properly at that time.
But decided to read and face it properly.
You're still in my heart.
You're still in my mind.
You're still in my dreams.
Yes i dont care about anything.
Even if i've to throw away my pride.
My face, My everything.
Yes I'll still want you back.
No matter what happens.
I'll love you.
12 days and 3 hours 36 mins till -> 13 days officially after our break up.
You're still in my mind.
My heart still hurts.
Guess thats how much love hurts.
Thats how much i love you..
Even while you were scolding me and stuff.
Its because you cared.
Its because you care...
Yes i agree there might be better in the world out there.
There might be a world populations of over BILLIONS.
There might be over millions of girls out there in the world.
But theres only one you.
And i love you.
If theres a day you finally love yourself.
Trust yourself.
Or anything else.
I'll be here.
I'm not afraid.
Because i wont let the same mistake happen twice.
I wont let you cry another tear.
I wont let you down.
I'll protect you.
Keep you safe.
Become someone who will bring you around the world travelling.
I'll remember what i said.
By 21 i'll be independent.
And I'll remember the promises i made.
The promises i made to you.
By than if you still dont love me?
There still time.
Life is long yet short.
3 months we spent together.
17 years 4 months into my life.
Thats 6414 days of my life on earth
You spent 3 months with me , 108 days.
Thats 6414 days of my life on earth
A fraction of my life is gone.
And it was with you.
And I dont mind spending the remainder of my life with you.
I'm no longer gaming.
Today leslie ask me go lan.
I've decided after this i'll work full shift.
I'll be working for myself.
For my future.
For what i want.
For i want my children.
If i dont get married.
I'll adopt.
That was what you said.
To be fortunate.
To have good parents.
Parent.
Not like how i was treated since young.
Not like how you're being treated at home.
Leave my heart broken.
Leave my heart bleeding.
Leave my heart the way it is.
Even time cant heal it.
Dream as if you live forever,
Live as if you're going to die today.
Injuries will healas long as you are alive.
Even though it may leave a scar.
But its proof of your living existance.
My living existance?
Existanced and Vanished.
Both too fast.
This is hard on me.Because 17 years into my life.
You're my 1st girlfriend.
You made me feel like living.
Now everythings empty.
I'm an quiet empty vessel.
Todays Scoprios Horoscope.
Your dreams are especially potent tonight and should point the way to something more interesting than your normal daily life. Look for clues throughout the day that remind you of your inner life
Tuesday, June 24, 20086/24/2008 11:40:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
What is life?
Today at work was
Ohhkayyy la.
The stupid overall in charge of all the outlets manager came.
And made a hell load of noise.
I dint really mind it though
Cas i look at things from her shoes.
Blah blah blah.
Anyways.
End of the day.
Ate pizzas, Meatballs, Chicken wings etc .
Geez sure get fat. =x
Found out (WHO THAT PERSON) name liaos.
Jia Ying,19,Waiting for UNI.
She dam cute and funny sia.
Seriously love working with her.
Today at work was listening to my colleagues talk about work.
Why work here?
They have rich families and so on.
They can be studying and so fore.
Both are JC graduates.
The other girl is also dam cute la.
Omg sexy.
They give tuition at like 25-40 dollars an hour/session?
And one of them parent's is a doctor.
And she got into MEDICINE in UNI.
ZOMG.
250 slots only and shes one of the chosen one.
I'm so honoured to know her. lols.
Next time go see doctor know go find who le.
3A's for A levels
ZOMG again .
Darn i feel so lousy.
Feel so crap.
But she said that I'm smart. o.O
So "PLEASED"
Free tuition for me.Lols.
Hiaz.. Uni school fees also so high.
Dots..
Anyways..Was thinking about her..
People from different wavelenghts.
True people with similar wavelenghts get along easily.
But love will help us get through right?
I mean. With this we learn and go through experiences together.
Whats love now?
If you love your girlfriend/boyfriend.
If he/she becomes Disabled/Disfigured/etc
Would you still love them as much?
What would you do?
Having all the money in the world.
Being materialistic?
What than?
Money is the root of all evil?
Money can solve all problems?
Money can buy you what you want?
What does life really have to offer?
What do you want to do with your life?
What do you love?
Money?
Friends?
Family?
Lust?
What do you see in a person you love?
Why do you love?
How deep is that love?
How much would you do and sacrifice for love?
Wells sometimes.
Humans can be so selfish.
Sometimes even if you work till you die.
Try so hard, Risking your life.
Giving up your own life.
Might not change someone..
That's how harsh love and life can get.
Life. Love. What is it that keep us going?
What do we really want?
What is it that we're working so hard to achieve?
Are we chasing society?
Are we catching up with fashion?
Or are we living our lives putting up a false face?
Pretending to be someone we're not?
Its your life.
What do you want to do with it?
Hiaz.
Life without meaning.
Life without goals.
Life alone.
Life...
meaningless..
6/24/2008 12:22:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Tuesday , June 24 , 2008Dreams, Desires and Necessities.
Keep thinking about her.
Wont really say i'm thinking about her.
But she keeps appearing in my mind.
In my dreams.
Is she my Dream?My Need?Or my Desire?
Hiaz.
Why did it turn out this way.
I know i was stupid i should not have told her i LIKED charmaine.
But theres nothing wrong with liking someone right?
I like someone but i LOVE you.
I dont really like her anyways.
Just a friend like.
You said you were possesive?
I want to be possesed.
Regrets..
Anyways..
You dint love me did you?
You only thought you did.
OR you tried to love me also.
Was talking to someone.
Yes she said she said if she had a chance she would want me.
But now?
She said she's not worth my love..
I cant help it.
I dont care who it is.
How ugly
How pretty.
As long as you use your brain.
Care for me.
And think about the future together.
And you dont mind me loving you.
I dont care who you are,Where you're from,What you do..
As long as you love me.
Having some lusty dreams .
Been thinking about life.
Whats sex.
After you do it.. Do you regret it?
I've talked to some of my friends that have done it.
Females-> i regret totally.I was so stupid to give in.ETC.
Males---> Aii ya girls are just our toys. Fuck than fuck lo.
Zzz I don't have that mindset.
I know its something pleasurable.
But its something that's once in your life.
Its for that 1 person.
Its "SACRED"
This world has all kinds of people..
Shes one of the better ones.
I believe there are still many out there.
Time will tell.
I Just want to exist..
I want to know someone cares.
I want someone to be there with me for me.
I've friends. But they don't talk to me.
Least i talk to them.
I've been giving loads of wrong impressions.
But its alright it does not matter.
I just want love.
I want true love.
I want someone to love me.
I want someone there for me.
And I'll do the same.
She was my 1st priority.
Nothing was more important.
You're just my dream.
You're not a need.
You're not a necessity.
You're just a want.
You're just someone who cared.
But that's all.
Anyone can do that
And i just want to say.
If you love me.
If you want my love.
If you're not afraid.
I'll be here waiting for you.
And i promise you.
I'll never hurt you.
I'll never flirt.
I'll love you.
I just want you.
I actually felt like i need you.
I'm not afraid of getting hurt for you.
Because i Love you.Loved you.
Those hurtful words you said
Those i said.
I never meant what i said
Whats a lie.Whats the truth.
You should know better.
But if you want to cover it with lies?
I'm speechless. By all means. Go ahead.
Jia yous with your JC life..
Its possible.
Anythings possible.
You just have to try...
Try as hard as you can
And everything is possible.
Try...
Trust me.
I'll love you.
I'll never let you cry.
I'll never hurt you.
Because my love
Is true and dedicated.
Monday, June 23, 20086/23/2008 11:07:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Life? Love? Meaning?
I know guys. I've been crapping alot.
I've been saying things that i don't mean.
But I'm just STM. (short term memory)
SSTM,SSSTM,USSSTM (Ultra, Super, Serious, Short term memory.)
But i cant help it when my heart and mind speaks different things.
And words just cant describe the confusion I'm facing.
Oh wells. -.-
Went to work today.
Today work was SUPER SLACK AND FUN.
Omg la was snacking the whole 4 and 1/2 hrs away. xD
Supervisor so nice let me eat and eat.
xD
Dint really eat alot though Just snacking once in a while.
Pizza's , Self made, Choose your own ingredients man!
Onion rings , FRIES , jeesus food paradise.
<3.Want to work with him again xD
And working with someone who just ended JC..
VJC ( Victoria Junior colleage)
And waiting for Uni now..
Grats ! ( wadeva ur name is)
thanks for sharing your life experience with me.
About love and life.
Feel much better.
And talking to me making me feel much less
Heartbrokened ^^
On the train on the way home..
Thought about what she said..(wadeva ur name is)
>> Talked to someone about love..Talked about people. Talked about life...
Whats life if you dont experience?
Not that you must experience everything.
But dont do anything stupid..
Because once you've done something
Theres no turning back.
But only regrets..
>>Know your limits.
Whats the meaning of life?
Basically, Logically?
Its just to live. To reproduce and carry on the generations.
You'll meet good and bad people.
Yes you might love that person
But if you're in the wrong wavelenght.
It wont work.
She asked me to go for private O's
I agreed . I'll try.
>>In life, You might live with memories.
You might live with regrets.
But its your life.Its your very own.
Whats done is done?
What can you do about it?!
Move on.
Even though its hard.
Even though people might not accept you
But its your life.
Its YOUR OWN..
You decide what you want.
You've got to fight for your right.
>>Whats love?
Love is when you're there for one another
Piortising and sacrificing.
You dont have to be rich to love.
You dont need anything to love.
You dont even need to love yourself to be loved.
Even if you know you're not good.
Even if you know you're wrong and might fail.
Its part of life.
No one is perfect.
But love makes everything perfect..
Love makes flaws seem like something to be laughed off.
>>Why love?
Its no longer a question of the mind.
Its a question of the heart.
Why do you have that special feeling for that person?
Life is full of questions
And sometimes theses questions even if you live for a hundred years.
You'll never find the answer.
Because its something that cant be found.
Its something thats given and taken.
Without a meaning, Without being seen.
>>Whats your existance?
It does not matter What has happened What have you done.
Whats that matters most is that you know what you want.
If you cant find what you want.
Try Do things you like.
If you dont like anything.
Than do something to waste your time away.
Think positive..
>> Conclusion..
Why am i like this?
Its because i don't love myself.
I like giving,Its alright if i don't receive.
I love you. More than i love myself.
I trust you. More than anyone else.
But if life tells us we cant be together.
I'll have to find someone else..
No one in this world is perfect.
No one in the world ever is.
If i have to life in memories and regret.
Than so be it.
Till the day love finds me...
Till that day....
11 days after our breakup. 108 days together.
i'm chilling off.But getting heated up also.
With this experience i learned.
Growing stronger is not enough.
You need to be smarter.
I wont change anything
I'll still leave them as they are.
I trust you.
6/23/2008 04:29:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Hiaz.
This is stupidity..
Why do i miss her again...
Zzz next time i cannot play patch up songs while i sleep
I guess playing songs while you sleep
Does affect you.
Just want you to know - Backstreet boys.
Over you - Chris daughtery.
Beautiful soul - Jesse Mcartney
If you come back - Blue.
Gotta go my own way - Vanessa Hudgens
I'm still fighting to let you go.
Because i haven't gotten over you.
Because i want you and your beautiful soul
So if you come back to me.
I still welcome you with open arms
And all my trust.
Because we might find a place, in this world, for us,
SOMEDAY.
Working at 6pm..
Reach home like at 1PM after L.A.N.
So fucking funny we dint even lose a game today..
And everyone was like dying after L.A.N.
Except me o.0.
Tormented Soul, Necrolyte, Priestess of the Moon.
Some basic gay heroes ^^.
Bored.. I'm still distracting myself. But i know no matter how hard i try.
Its going to be a rough ride..
I don't know.
Matters of the heart..
Do i care for myself?
Am i selfish?
What do i want.
Seriously?
I don't know..
Been talking to someone
Who realised how much she has regretted letting me down.
And we're just like close friends again ?
I think i don't know i just like her presence..
I'm still wearing that pair of shoes that we bought together..
In Switzerland
Its 6 hours behind Singapore time.
Guess this is just me comforting myself again -.-
Take care everyone.
Going work soon...
Alison are you mad with me?
I know you are..
I think you are .
I believe you are.
Oh wells guess I'm just too stupid right now to make the right decisions.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Thanks for everything so far I'll get back to you once I'm feeling better.
Today's Scorpio Horoscope.
Your energy is best used on creative pursuits today. Make art with the kids, devise new ideas at work or just loosen up your mind and dream up some possibilities for future fun and games.
6/23/2008 03:36:00 AM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Monday , June 23 , 2008
Gayed -.-
Leslie called me to last minute lan.
Hiaz now at lan><
But now i feel that time is passing so fast
whats life.. Its going to be passed on.
Generations after generations.
Time passes. Things evolve.
For the better or worse
as time passes.
I feel so old.
I feel that i've been doing so many stupid things.
oh wells.
Guess life is like that..
Sunday, June 22, 20086/22/2008 10:12:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
Assault
I just whacked my mother.
shes bleeding.
Shes crapping .
Talked about leaving the family.
I told them when I'm 21 i would definitely leave.
Disown me
By all means i don't care.
What so ever i don't care about my family.
And i still don't.
Don't talk about ZhiWei
What do you people know about her
What do you people know about me.
Breaking up only made my existence more Ir relevant.
So why bother.
I've changed in a way that i don't recognise anymore.
What is it in life now..
What ever it is i don't care about this family at all.
Whats best for myself.
Whats a family.
Is it breaking apart?
I don't want anyone to go to.
I'll rely on myself.
I'll grow strong
What does my break up got to do.
You all don't really understand my situation now don't you all.
She broke up with me .
My life has become meaningless.
So why crap.
I don't care.
I've not change?
I'm just moody.
Whatever.. I don't care about my family
And i never will.
Getting rather pissed with people who think they know me
Recently people have been asking me alot of stupid things.
If you dont love yourself how can you love someone else?
Dont ask me how can i love someone else?
Because i've done it.
And i will sacrifice everything if i love that person.
Thats all.
Why bother asking
Action speaks louder than words .
And i'm not afraid to show, to prove.
So dont ask me stupid things if you dont know me.
6/22/2008 03:21:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
LOLS
Call me stupid , Call me retard.
I'm watching i propose.
The guy, basically the couple is totally so funny.
That tension of proposing to someone..
You're going to live with for the rest of your life..
That happiness. That sadness.
Everything else.
Whats the meaning of getting married.
A few post ago was talking about divorce..
No idea..
But getting married seems like a very scary thing.
Getting pregnent.
How old you're going to get married and stuff.
I dont feel anything already.
But i wish she was still with me..
They go sky diving..
And she asks Wheres my boyfriend!
I dont see my Boyfriend!
Lols...
After it all.
when she lands
He kneels down and asks..
She realises..
And starts sobbing...
And he proposed...
She said this is the happiest day in my life...
6/22/2008 12:27:00 PM
I'll be here, Waiting for love , Waiting for you.
Better off Alone
Forgive,Forgave,Forgiven there was nothing wrong to begin with.Its my fault.
A new beginning.
Had a good night of sleep last night..
Finally a good night of sleep.
Woke up late o.0!
Oh wells today also not working.
Guess I'm changing already
hahas...
Hiaz.
Now what? I also don't know..
Feel so bored.
Now feel so bored and don't know what to do..
Feel like going lan =/
Somehow now i feel dam screwed.
Its like i don't mean what i say..
But no matter what.They want me to move one
She wants me to move on.
And its kinda pointless
To continue with life like this
Is it not?
I don't know hiazz.
But this is the best way ba..
But what is the best?
Hiaz.
I dont know ..
She does not trust me at all.
Thats why I'm So
Heartbrokened.
Todays Scorpio Horoscope.
You and a friend are butting heads somewhat.But the process should yield much better ideas than if you were in perfect agreement with each other. Use the conflict to your advantage.
