Today was rather hectic.
Woke up late..
My phone gone.
Today at work was kinda...
Weird?
I did alot of different roles -.-
Became ordering slip boii o.0!
Its a stupid boring and lame 'ROLE' la.
Than i absorbed what jasmine said.
LOL I THINK I GOT LAG SYMPTOMS.
Being a psychistrist.
Took me 2 days?
Took me 2 days to realise i dint wanna let ZW go after our break up also
Lets not drift to that subject.
Anyways talked to my workplace about the timing and stuff.
They push the blame back to me.
Than i expressed my points -.-
They agreed la.
Of coz who dont wan earn more money.
Than like they dont want me go like dat
Lols. vaulable worker?
"OUR BEST PART TIMER"
Wtf? i Dont care about being the "best"
I'M NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING
I'm not the best..
I rather let someone take the BEST spot and i'll follow.
I rather listen than lead.
STM stm. I'm forgetting so many things -.-

I WANT A NEW BICYCLE
I WANT A LAPTOP
A NEW PSP.AND PHONEEE
arghss MONEYYY gimmi MONEEYY
oh.
CLothes TOO
r0oawrr.
xD

K i go slack liao working 1030 tml morning
hiazzz...heartbreak.
MY IMPT FRIENDS IN MY MSN ALL NOT ONLINE WA BIANG SO BORED LA.
Miss my "real friends" =/

Zzzz i did what i usually do.
And its really over.
I've dropped my phone in water
Rather washed it in washing machine
zzzz
Guess no more numbers.
No more handphone.
No more lots of things and its time for "new stuff' and to move on
Something new.
Something different.
Something me.

Today working 13 hours flat.
NoN STOP.
Not even for a break.
no big deal to me actually.
Hiaz but no time to blog yesterday OMG SO WASTED LA.
T_T
Feel so horrible i dint blog... ZZZ
Was thinking about the "theory" about time.
Time passes.
Every second i'm typing this "testi" blog" Diary" is a second i'll never get back
But i just feel less and less sad each day.
Less loving and stuff

Work was kinda horrible actually.
But i had control of everything for 'ONCE'
so FUN.

I dont know what i want now.
I was talking to so many people today.
And while doing so i was reflecting as well.
Life just seems so wasted.
Drifting away.
JASMINE you are so friggin MONOTONE LARHS.
Yawnz. I'm so siand-ed
Read my ex blog again.
Feel less for her already
Because she already LIKES someone else.
Wells i had a feeling already.
I'm gonna be that EMO kid again.
But just that silent boii.

The people at my work place still dont know the 'real' me
Rofl so stupid -.-
I'm changing my "characteristics" every now and than.
Silent. Noisy. Irritating. Fast worker. Slacker.
In total = gamer = WORK ADDICT?
Hiazzzz LATER WORK SURE HAVOCK ALSO LO
So many F-IN things to do tml also
DIE LE LA.

Move on or you'll get left behind.
I'm already behind.
Like way behind.
And i'm kinda stuck.
Save me? Pull me out?
But no one will.

Love is something that i dont believe in anymore.

Thought about ZW again.
Wonder if she'll look back.
Wonder if she gets another bf.
Would she compare?
Would she find me again?
I doubt so.
Hahas guess its really after all.
Its really time to get over her for good.
But I'm just filled with sorrow everyday.
Without any meaning in life.
I'm working like nuts.
Learning new things.
But still its not enough to get her off my mind.
I need "more"
I just want to go back to school and stuff desperately
I don't want to think about her.
And rather spend time worrying about my exams and marks.
Wanting to score better and stuff.
Looking at reality now.. There's really nothing to look forward to or anything else.
I just want to finish my army asap that's all i know.
I hope life would be better.
But "its predicted" that my life is horrible.
As much as i want to change it.
Its kinda stupid cas that wont happen.
I felt so happy while being in a relationship..
Guess because i can see someone smile.
Someone appreciate me and love me as well.
But guess shes really not the one for me.
Though i really wished she was.

Jasmine HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I get my pay we go for our "DATE" ROFL.
You sound so MATURE siaaa!
OLD. If you say you OLD means i what sia.
Zzzz INDIRECTLY INSULTING ME !!
Thanks ah! Remember to say welcome.
Anyways. "stares into sky"
Ponders about life again.
Hope it will turn out fine.
Because I'm really feeling super depressed everyday.
As much as i try to be childish and kiddish.
It does not change how much i hurt inside.
I think I'll just be silent.
Empty vessels make the most noise.
I'm an empty vessel.

When a winner makes a mistake, he says" i was wrong"
I'm not afraid to admit my mistake.

Somehow no matter how i look at it
I feel mentally unstable.
I'm sorry for EVERYTHING TODAY EVERYONE.
I'm just feeling so depressed -.-
Today was especially bad.
I'm just so sorry.
But its all happened.
Let me amend my ways.

Working 13 hours tomorrow.
My legs hurt.
My heart too.
My body is "dying"
If i was ever to really die.
I hope i've done enough for everyone.
All my friends. To let them apperciate and do better in life.
I want to "improve" peoples life.
Help them.
At the stake of my own is also not a problem.
I'm not afraid of death.
Let fate carry me along destiny.

Todays Scorpios Horoscope
-See if you can try something new today -- even a new restaurant for dinner. The smallest change you make could have profound effects on the rest of your life. Don't predict -- just experiment!

-There is always a balance of power in any relationship. Someone is always calling the shots while the other person goes along with the plan. Who does what should be shifting back and forth regularly -- if it's not, then today is the day to bring that up. If you're the one always making plans in one of your relationships, ask the other person to think of something for you two to do. And if you're the one who always has to go along with what someone else says, step up and offer to make plans.

Hehe call me psyco.
But i thought of this "fantastic" idea.
Actually it was my collegues.
Virtual. Imaginations.
Was "talking to myself" today.
Realised that it was not that lonely.
I've gotton over her already o.0
Imagined her standing infront of me.
I looked at her in daze.
Thats all i did.
I dint even say anything.
If there was anything to be said.
LADIES 1ST
Haha -.- Memoriable times thats all.
If we are back together it would be her who askes me.
I'm not going to try anymore.
Its not gonna work and i'll only feel depressed lols.
Liking someone else really takes my mind off her.
Cannot imagine that happening -.-
Me and "HER?"
Zzzz Actually i was considering alot of things but when the "pieces"
Come together.
I get a very INCOMPLETE PICTURE.
Therefore i've decided to give up on alot of aspects in life
And carry on with my singlehood UFN.
Maybe i'll really stay single till i die .
THE VIRGIN- X]
Love. Trust. Sacrifice. Time. Money. Everything i've done for nothing
Giving my all means entrusting my life
Too big a burden on her.
Anyways, I'm just bored with life.
I'm working FULL EVERYDAY wtf? lols
Till someone said PAUL!!
YOu're stil YOUNG!! TAKE YOUR TIME!!
Eh whats young? =/I'm no longer considered a kid.
Time to get going. GOING LAN. again.

Met last year.
Gone this year.
Existant in memories.
Gone from the heart.

LIFE IS FULL OF CHALLENGES.
Make the best out of it .
Make life fun.

Sooo NOISY LA CANNOT SLEEEPP.
Time to wake up anyways lol.
Everytime now i go to bed so nice no sadness.
Irreplacable.Saw someone who looked like my ex.
Only "nosier" LOL.
But no one can ever replace anyone.
And i'm not having "funny" ideas.
Relationships~ Not wanting one.
Not now not for a while.
Must keep persuading myself and reminding myself.
Working full shift today also.
I'm a crazy buttwhipe.
I'm tiring myself out but i feel good to know i'm working such long hours.
Gtg edi. Bathe;Change;Leave house.
14 more days till pay day + have to wait for check to "process"
ARGHS cant wait to recieve my stupid pay xD
Was considering saving for a laptop.
See how ba.Money money money makes my world go "not round"
Lols stupid la when you consider how to spend your money you earn.
Heartpain nya.

Todays Scorpios Horoscope
-Your energy levels are so high that it may seem as if nothing can tire you out. It's a good day for long projects, road trips, marathon study sessions or anything else that requires incredible stamina.

-Just because your dreams have been giving you interesting messages lately doesn't mean that you have to try to decode all of them. Sometimes, dreams are just dreams and nothing more. If you worry that you have to figure things out in your life, then look to your waking hours instead of your sleeping ones -- there are far clearer clues there for you to unravel. Attributing greater meaning to what your brain does at night could be a way of putting off accepting the reality of your situation.

64 Days after our break up
Who cares ? Only me?
Maybe her?
LOLs anyways.
Responsibility is something that i must take into "higher consideration" now
Work -.-
9 hours a day is funky w/o break or anything
Especially if the people there let you be a "loner"
And you only get scolded
If you talk you're called a busybody.
Am i taking things seriously?
Should i take things seriously -.-
Was looking at peoples characteristics.
What should i do -.
I'm so dam forgetful.
I'm just super distracted.
Think think also no use? =x
But sometimes conclusions do come up.
But to reach what you want.
Is not an easy task,nor is it what you think it did be.
You're working with people.
Not alone.
What is it you want to do
What do you what to be or prove in your life.

Apart from being distracted.
Arghs just super distracted and nothing goes in well la.
Eye candy-.- Its just me -.-
I cant do anything I'm helpless -.-
Me and my stupid "righteous" morals.
Wish i am a don't care attitude person.
108 days together 108 days to get over everything and forget.
Just forget.
Aim for materialistic wants.
Laptop + Psp.
Listening to trance music to wake up now -.-
Work will be extremely sucky today i can feel it.

Todays Scorpios Horoscope
-That brain of yours is making the right kinds of trouble again and you ought to be able to have fun while stimulating your intellect at the same time. If you're looking for love, try the library!

-Feed your mind whenever you can today -- and don't give it any junk thinking! Gossip, trends, celebrity news and other types of shallow input won't do much to improve your mood or give you many good things to talk about. Turn the channel to the news station and education yourself on what's going on in the real world. Skip reality television and instead pick up a good book. You don't have to swear off silly stuff forever, but you do have to remind yourself how smart you are.

OMG SO MANY THINGS TO DO
And i forgot to post so many things yesterday
OMFG i overslept xD
Work at 12 now still at home sleeping rofl
Responsibility paul WAKE UP
Chiong ah i'll post later
horoscope later also ARGHS LATE!!

SYLVIE you big mouth lei -.-
Make me read her blog
But i don't blame you XD
Zzzz see i told you i was INNOCENT.
She herself know what she has done.
She herself knew what i did.
She herself pushed the blame to me.
She herself did all of this -.-
OKAY TIME TO DO SOME EXTRACTING.

i think, this is going to be my most emo post yet.

i had been thinking a lot yesterday. with all tests finally over, i had time to really reflect. i still miss my ex.. although it has been so long. i just kept it within myself.i didnt dare let anyone know, because i dun want u guys to think that I'm stupid for doing so. but.. i miss his smses, his hugs n kisses which made me felt loved and warm, his sweet actions, his patience in waiting 4 me aft sch... he was my first bf, how am i suppose to just forget? but i know that breaking up wif him is inevitable, bound to happen sooner or later, so i did what was right. it hurts ok? but it must be done. yet, he didnt make it easy for me. kept asking why must i do this etc.. i didnt want to answer all these, so i shut myself down and started to feel angry at him instead. but i kan deny that i didnt enjoy being wif him during our rls. i think he took it too seriously; i'm afraid of commitments because i wasnt sure of what i wanted. but he kept pinning all his hopes on me, thinking that i was the one for him. but i may not be the one. i didnt want to dash his hopes, make you feel so shattered, so i broke up early. haiz feeling so sad now.. kept cryin since last nite cuz i still feel so confused. although i know that i will never accept him again, i just want u guys to know that i'm not heartless ok? just.. bu zhi suo cuo. i hope that after i blogged about this, i will feel better and continue life without missing him.

paul, if u c dis, i dun wan u to comment abt it to me thx. u can do so on ur own blog, becuz i dun read it le. but i rly wan to move on from here. dis is juz to let u noe dat im not heartless n i did treasure d times dat we've spent tgt, not to ask u 4 a 2nd chance or anything. ty if u rly did love
me. live life to d fullest im glad u're finally not slacking.

Zzz accuse me than clear my name
Accuse me again and clear.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE AND TELL ME.
You're someone that has a heart?
Yea I'm fucking heartless and "IMPURE"
All the things you've said and done.
You think i appreciate it?
I DON'T AT ALL K?
Whether you read this post.
Whether you read my blog again or not.
I don't care at all you know?
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO SAY.
You've confused me enough.
You've made my love seem all wrong.
Caused me to lose myself a few times.

Today talk to my collegue about love
About work about earning money Jobs.
Love does not exist -.-
Its just a word mind mapped into different words
Work ; Education ; Experience ; Certificates.
All these can get you some where
All one really requires is hard work

Arghs i'm just really pissed right now la.
Zhiwei Its no longer what you say anymore i hate you.
I REALLY HATE YOU.
FOR WHO YOU ARE WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
You think you've a "heart"?
Yea a real nice one. Accusing me and stuff than now you want to clear?
You know whats once stained and stained for life?
Whats done is done?
You think just apologising will clear everything just being emo and crying will clear everything up?
Today while at work i was super pissed with some people k?
I felt super useless at work k?
Today i felt super distracted.
My mind was thinking about characteristics and my love.
You've made me feel love does not exist anymore.
And saying all this wont change anything k?
Putting my hopes on you.
Planning a future with you is that what you think i did only?
Whatever la. I'm not supposed to care.
I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BOTHER READING YOUR BLOG.
But i care. I DON'T KNOW WHY I CARE SO MUCH.
I don't achieve anything i don't gain anything
But i care for those i want to.
That's who i am.
I care for my friends. And especially for the one i love.
But you've not just stabbed me in my face.
You've woken me up from my naive world of how 1 person can change so much.
I knew this would come. I knew alot of things would have happened.
But i dint want it to.
That's why i gave my all.
THAT'S WHEN YOU STABBED ME SO HARD.
AND THREW ME OFF THE LADDER OF LOVE.
That's how i feel k?

I'M NOT GOING TO BE A BYSTANDER.
I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT I CAN.
I'm working full shifts from now onwards.
AND 1 MORE THING i fucking hate you for stabbing me.
And trying to cover yourself saying you've got a heart.
You knew what I've done. You know what you did.
This is all my proof.This is all I've got to say.
No more..
You're out of my life YOU'RE NON EXISTANT.
If i ever see your face again. I really feel like..



Giving you a hug and telling you i forgive you.

But somewhere inside of me tells me i wont.
But i forgive..
Over time things can change.
I hope you change for the better as well.
To those of your friends who read my blog.
Tell her i forgive her k?
x]
AND ANYONE WHO TAKES ADVANTAGE OF HER.
IF I COME TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
YOU'LL FUCKING DIE.
I mean it.

I'm a giver, Not a taker. I love. I don't hate.
Even if i hate someone i wont do anything extreme
SO PLEASE DON'T FORCE ME.
I wont be a bystander.
I'll protect the ones important and dear to me.
And those innocent people.
Life, Love, Giving ones all.
Love makes everything seem right even if its so dam wrong.
Sacrificing is giving up something for the sake of another without any special intentions.
But of the will of your own.

Appreciate what you have.
Love those who love you.
Money cant solve all problems.
Money is needed for survival and "materialistic happiness"
I'll most probably stay single
Travel, earn lots of money and come back.
My goal for now is to earn lots of money and complete my studies.
Not to love.

JY everyone! JY Zhiwei.
I believe you know i never meant anything bad.
You know i never wanted to make you cry.
You know i loved you.
But its all over.
Its all forgiven and forgotten.

Vengence wont help.Forgiving and learning from the past and admiting your mistakes make you mature and grow.
What the has happened has happened.
Time wont turn
Things wont change.
But life carries on.
Time ticks.
The earth rotates.
The sun burns.
The wind blows.
The cycle of life continues..

Todays Scorpios Horoscope
-Financial issues may be troubling today, though not disastrous! If you are responsible for other people's money, or just for a large budget, you may find it difficult to avoid taking unnecessary risks.

-If you are in the middle of any business dealings, be extra careful about the small print -- read it, and then read it again. There could be some mighty big strings attached. Negotiations of any kind will be tricky right now, because not everyone's agenda will be out in the open. But people won't make the mistake of thinking you are an easy target if you are clear up front about what you are and are not willing to compromise. It's important for you to be resolute in everything you do today.

June 15, 2008
June 22, 2008
June 29, 2008
July 6, 2008
July 13, 2008
July 20, 2008
July 27, 2008
August 3, 2008
August 10, 2008
August 17, 2008
August 24, 2008
August 31, 2008
September 7, 2008
September 14, 2008
September 21, 2008
December 20, 2009

My Thoughts
My Extras

http://null-boi.blogspot.com/

On Crap N some histroy
Just some extra feel over there =x